are you so shy because you have an std?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
