Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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