Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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