If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
