angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
