Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
