True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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