Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
