You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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