I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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