I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
