well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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