69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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