they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize