I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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