Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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