I heard we made out
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
