I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
