If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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