i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
