I like my sex mixed with concussions.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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