i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
