She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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