Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
