i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
