did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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