so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
