If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
