Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You can't special order awesome
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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