Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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