Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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