I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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