I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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