dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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