I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
