this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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