Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
