Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
