I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize