I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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