Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
