I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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