Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
