sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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