Apparently you make a good broom.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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