so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
