You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
