Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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