the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You are a genius and a whore.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
