People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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