I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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