just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
