is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
