Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just puked most of my soul out..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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