we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize