Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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