dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
