i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love you.
Bad choice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
