my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
