Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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